Outer Collapse - Inner Strength Part 7

My outer collapses take place because my inner strength cannot sustain them.

Philippians 2:13 -14 [Not in your own strength] for it is God Who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight. Do all things without grumbling and faultfinding and complaining [against God] and questioning and doubting [among yourselves],

These verses give me a clear picture of the degree of inner strength I have. It's also clear that grumbling, faultfinding, complaining, questioning and doubting are not God's will and doing them does not bring Him pleasure, satisfaction and delight.

It is so easy to get into form and function in our everyday lives of Christian living. It becomes even easier when working in ministry as an occupation. For over a year I have come to this incredible place called Onething Prayer Center. It is a place of rest, refreshing and restoration. The presence of God can overwhelm you at times. You would think that I would spiritually be in such an incredibly different place from last year.

Yet as I take inventory, I am afraid that is not the case. Last year I did a 40 day fast that I believe prepared me for what was to come. I felt physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually in tune. The best I can remember. I followed that with doing three day fasts each month. I was carrying my Bible with me everywhere and marking scriptures that the Spirit would draw me to constantly. I marked my Bible more in the first three months of our new endeavor in creating a 24/7 prayer room than in the previous three years combined. Television was almost nil as Ann Marie and I searched for intimacy with the Father.

But all that was last year. This year during the same time period, no 40 day fast and no monthly fasts. No Bible with me where ever I go. In fact it has pretty much become form and function to use it between the hours from 7 and 10am as I do this blog. Television has crept back into my routine and captivates probably more hours now than it did prior to giving it up last year. I must admit that I grumbled, and complained to God and to others far less then, than I do today. I had less questions and doubted far less about who God is and who I am.

I have a saying, "Garbage in, garbage out." Inner strength is slipping away from me. I see why the Spirit is leading me back to this familiar revelation from two years ago. Nothing like a self evaluation to open your eyes to reality. The outer collapses.... or perceived outer collapses, have become the focus of my thoughts and discussions. It appears that Inner strength has somehow been left to form and function and thus has become just that..... form and function.