Outer Collapse - Inner Strength Part 16

I have and will continue my soap box stand against taking a single verse and making it fit my circumstances. Psalm 131 is no different. I must read on and get the full context of what was being spoken.

LORD, my heart is not haughty, Nor my eyes lofty. Neither do I concern myself with great matters, Nor with things too profound for me.

This is a statement of humility. This does not mean that David did not struggle at times with pride and arrogance. But his heart was searching for humility and often it was God's grace that it was reality in his life. But there is more to Davids words.

Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul,

This sure sounds once again like "Be still and know." Calmed and quieted my soul. Did you get what David said? Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul. He's not asking God to do it. We often ask God to do what has been ordained for us to do. God will not force Himself on people so He can not calm us or quiet us. We will need focus, purpose, commitment. Some days I really struggle with getting my soul to calm and quiet. I'm not able to turn it off and on like a light switch. Even the things of God often keep me from being calm and quiet. Davids words here are saying, "I trust you God." I will have to put those things which seem to concern me out of sight. I will have to settle for not understanding every detail of my life. I will need to be satisfied with today.

Like a weaned child with his mother; Like a weaned child is my soul within me.

David paints a vivid picture for me to understand.

Next David issues a call for hope. Not a hope for position, or power, or money but a hope in the Lord. David is not being presumptuous to tell God what he expects. He has a hope in the Lord that whatever God is going to do will surpass anything he could concern himself with.

O Israel, hope in the LORD From this time forth and forever.

I believe that Humility is why David had the failures and the successes that he did. SELAH! (Pause and think on that.)

A very dear friend by the name of Kim Johnson, sent her newsletter last week and it was confirmation for me that God was in deed dealing with some issues in my life. I am going to share the second half of her newsletter as she does an excellent job of expressing my feelings.

Quieting and calming our soul takes discipline. Think about a baby who is being weaned from his mother. This process usually is not an easy one. This child will learn to drink for himself and then eventually eat solid food, first with assistance then on his own. No longer is mom the one who supplies every bit of nutrition for him. Mom becomes a source of love, guidance and acceptance now. This child can rest comfortably and peacefully in his mother's arms and enjoy her presence. In this place of embrace, he gains acceptance, love and security. In return, the mother takes great joy in pouring out love to her young one and teaching him from this place of contentment.

The Lord longs for us to come to Him with a quieted soul. He wants to fellowship with us and not just be our provider. He longs for us to enjoy His presence and place our hope in Him all of our days. It is the simplicity of drawing from His presence that revelation is born. It's not from studying and studying for hours to find something that no one else has ever seen. Successful Christianity is when we are consumed with knowing our God and pursuing a relationship with Him. Seeking first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness is what we are called to do. The rest of our life falls into place from our relationship with him.

If you can identify with this struggle, I encourage you to seek the Lord on this matter. Here is my prayer to the Lord, use it if you like, but pray your heart, not mine:

Lord, forgive me for seeking acceptance from man. In You, Lord, I am satisfied. In You I find acceptance. As Your vessel, open my mouth to speak forth the message You desire to be released through my life. Let me not add or take away from Your Word. I want to rest upon You and see You as my love and provider. Awaken my heart to this understanding. Let my hope be in You and You alone. Let my soul be calmed and quited within me. In Jesus' Name I pray, amen.

Outer Collapse - Inner Strength Part 15

"This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.

I have been taught my entire life how to play the game of life. I have learned how to get the favor and recognition of people. Many have contributed to my ability. Good grades, trophies, awards, clothing, all have given me some degree of acceptance. I have been trying to please someone most of my life. Perhaps better said, I have been trying to find acceptance from people most of my life. I just told someone this week that there were many things I did not do as a teenager because I did not want to disappoint my parents, teachers, pastor, etc.. As an adult, I have struggled with this idea of playing the game or being politically correct, whether it's in the workplace, ministry or even church. But it has not been beyond me to use it when I needed to get something or somewhere in life. My whole life there has been someone trying to teach me that I must be concerned with the opinions of man.

This is a war that wages between my soul and my spirit and it gets overwhelming at times. My soul comes alive when I strive to make my own way and impress people. My spirit stirs within me when I purpose to build relationship with God. And today with a book, Cd, DVD, or conference available at every turn I can quickly become confused with the conflicting methods, programs or theology. Will God really esteem me if I don't do something memorable for Him? A humble and contrite spirit seems to be at odds with all I've been taught, and all I see for that matter. Those that have great accomplishments seem to take center stage in the Christian world. If you don't have a dynamic story or some incredible experience to share you are passed over as though you are insignificant to those in the "know" and to God.

If I get brutally honest with myself I'd have to say that for most of my life I have been looking for an exclusive revelation that would make people stand back and say WOW. I can only speak for myself but I want to be remembered. If people quote me and recognize me for my contributions to life that would be satisfying. When given the opportunity I readily share about any number of accomplishments that I consider to be measurable contributions to God and people's lives. I have sought for significance.

All the while my spirit tells me over and over that I am searching in the wrong places and for the wrong thing. "THIS IS THE ONE I ESTEEM" says the Lord. The one who will surrender everything: knowledge, personal agendas, position, possessions, etc. A person simple and plain, reverently responsive to what I say. He desires a person who is not peripheral to the world. He desires a person who has made the world and it's self fulfilling desires peripheral to His heart, His ways, His will. In the middle of all my mistakes God desires a heart that diligently seeks Him. A heart that reverently responds to Him and not the pleasing of people.

"This is the one I esteem." The one who's heart is not haughty, or eyes lofty
"This is the one I esteem." The one who does not concern themselves with great matters, or with things too profound for themselves.

It's time to end as the music just began playing a song called "All I want to do is love You. All I want to do is touch Your heart. Let me see Your face. Let me feel Your embrace.

Outer Collapse - Inner Strength Part 14

Okay, back to Isaiah 66:1-2 the word that confirmed for Ann Marie and I Onething Prayer Center.

Thus says the LORD: “Heaven is My throne, And earth is My footstool. Where is the house that you will build Me? And where is the place of My rest? 2 For all those things My hand has made, And all those things exist,” Says the LORD.

I knew that God had no need for a man-made temple. After all He has all of heaven and all of earth. But "The Place of My Rest" which refers to the temple is what I/we were convinced that God desired for us to create. He was very specific, that it was to be according to His plan and not my talents, gifts, ability or knowledge. In fact He specifically told me to forget all I knew about church, ministry, business and even what I thought I knew about Him. The reason for that has become more apparent over the past year.

“But on this one will I look:

God is always looking for true worshippers. John 4:24 God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” God is bringing together a remnant of people, a remnant of true worshippers and Onething was and is to be just one of the places that they would come and offer true worship. He would then inhabit the worship and praises of His people. God does not inhabit the four walls of Onething. God is inhabiting the worship and praises of a people and that lingers in the air for hours, days or months. From that there would be signs and wonders that follow. While I see a sprinkling of that I am very much aware that it is a fraction of what God desires. Onething is not a location or a destination. It's a vehicle.

The next words carry a great responsibility with them if the above is assumed to be true for myself. Again I am aware that it is not in my own strength and I must surrender to do my part so God will do His part.

On him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, And who trembles at My word.

Contrite spirit and trembles at My word are saying the same thing as John 4:24 God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” The Message says it this way, "But there is something I'm looking for: a person simple and plain, reverently responsive to what I say." Several translations use the word humble. HUMBLE! SIMPLE, PLAIN, REVERENT. No wonder God told me to forget everything I knew about church, ministry, business, and Him. It is my opinion that "True" humility is hard to find today. As for tremble at His word? When is the last time that happened?

Outer Collapse - Inner Strength Part 13

Isaiah 54:1-6 "Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby. Fill the air with song, you who've never experienced childbirth! You're ending up with far more children than all those childbearing women." God says so!" Clear lots of ground for your tents! Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big! Use plenty of rope, drive the tent pegs deep. You're going to need lots of elbow room for your growing family. You're going to take over whole nations; you're going to resettle abandoned cities. Don't be afraid—you're not going to be embarrassed. Don't hold back—you're not going to come up short.

I really don't know about all that. Whole nations........? I also don't really know that Tampa has been abandon. I have met many who have been praying for this area far longer than I. But to some degree I guess you could say that we are resettling. Onething now occupies a space that was abandoned by the world. It was taken out by an FBI raid. When it was first built it was a Christian Bookstore with a reading and prayer room. It has also been a church plant at one time while it was a karate studio. Now we're trying to settle in as a 24/7 prayer center. Fear... sometimes. Embarrassed... by my fears and lack of intimacy with the Father. Hold back... I sometimes wish I had just a little bit. And as for coming up short... not possible with a fully surrendered heart.

I embraced the words from Isaiah 54 and still do but what I have come to know is that my understanding of those words were influenced by my past and my then present. A year later I see more than what I saw then from this passage. Not that I was wrong then or any more right now because what I am seeing and sharing today is from my past and my present. It is limited by my ability to think and comprehend. Sharing is limited by my vocabulary, my ability to form words and express ideas.

My prayers have not been for lots of ground or large tents. My prayers have not been to spread out and think big as the world would view it. But... spread out? Yes, I pray that men and women would be drawn to Onething by God and not programs. That their hunger and thirsting would cause them to search for deep things. That they would experience the presence of God to such a degree that they would be ruined for anything else. That they would take it back to their churches and it would "spread out" there. It's always great to get words from God that seem to be clear and precise. After all that's what I have been writing about for months. What have I been thinking? I have just as clear and precise a word as Elijah. “Get away from here and turn eastward, and hide by the Brook Cherith, which flows into the Jordan.”

Spread out! Think Big! Those words come after "Sing barren woman who has never had a baby. Fill the air with song, you who've never experienced childbirth!" Until I can do that I don't think I need to be concerned with what follows. Let the air be filled with my song using the words from Psalm 131:1 Lord, my heart is not haughty, nor my eyes lofty, neither do I concern myself with great matters, nor with things too profound for me.

Outer Collapse - Inner Strength Part 12

Isaiah 54:1-6 "Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby. Fill the air with song, you who've never experienced childbirth! You're ending up with far more children than all those childbearing women." God says so! "Clear lots of ground for your tents! Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big! Use plenty of rope, drive the tent pegs deep.

You're going to need lots of elbow room for your growing family.

This is really funny in light of certain events that have just occurred. Our 3200 sq ft has been.... shall I say, a challenge during the past year as funds or lack of, have been one of my outer collapses. Yet today I found myself looking at the space next to us (5 times)which is being vacated today, and wondering how we can move over to it. It would be spreading out and thinking big for sure! It has highway exposure and many, many, other benefits along with another 1100 sq ft. Have I lost my mind? Am I crazy? Next month for the first time, we know that we will take in enough money to pay the rent. That's not everything but it's far more than we have known any other month. Am I really to consider a "larger tent?" Oh, did I mention that there are two prophets who said that our 3200 sq ft was too small. I laughed at them as I have had no desire to undertake any further financial obligations. They spoke of December as a turning point and that finances would no longer be an issue. REALLY?

Our family is growing but, we have plenty of elbow room most of the time. But then again does God have something in mind that I have no clue of? This is like when a man gets the idea he wants a new car. Suddenly everything in the world is going wrong with the current car. I don't want to do that. Our 3200 sq ft is absolutely great and serves us well. There will always be "something better."

My prayer time this weekend will be to determine if the word about elbow room is past, present, or future. Of course immediately I am aware that God is all three. He is past and spoke to us in the past. He is present and may be speaking to us right now about this space. And He may very well be prophesying as to where we are to go in the future. Well it just so happens that I serve in a prayer center. And with that the music playing just said, "Be still and know that He is God." Coincidence? Not likely! I've heard it before on more than one occassion. So with that stillness is the agenda for this weekend.

Outer Collapse - Inner Strength Part 11

I am not going to review what I said yesterday or I will never get through this and onto what God has for me.

You're ending up with far more children than all those childbearing women." God says so!"

What has become clear since last year is what this looks like for this season. The Prayer Center exposes us to numerous people. People from all walks of church life and from the secular side of life. The Cafe brings them in and curiosity about "The Room" eventually gets them. They ask the questions and we have answers. People have found God in the place He has prepared as His resting place.

Clear lots of ground for your tents! Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big!

We cleared about 3,200 sq ft by signing a three year lease. It was big in that we needed a deposit of $10,000 and monthly rent of $5,000 not including anything else. LARGE tent! At the time and still today it is for me "Thinking Big." Add to that the expenses and at least some income for Ann Marie and I and it is "GIGANTIC."

Use plenty of rope, drive the tent pegs deep.

Now you'll have to pay special attention here as the story expands. Ann Marie had gotten a word a few years earlier about having a tent mentality. At that time it was for a church plant. The word came out of the Israelites who wandered for 40 years in the wilderness. There was a tabernacle and God showed Himself by day with a cloud and by night with a pillar of fire. When the cloud or the fire moved the people were to move. Pack up their tents, their belongings and move to where God moved them.

Okay, back to last year when the Spirit reminded me again of the "tent" mentality. A revelation of God's word had taken place and this time the word had nothing to do with a building or a specific church. The "tent" was us. We are the tent, God's dwelling place. What a concept. There are so many little details that I am leaving out. When they say hind sight is beautiful they are absolutely right. As I look at the past with today in view it all makes sense. Well maybe it doesn't make sense but I can see God's hand print.

So when the word said to use plenty of rope I took that to mean plenty of the word. When it said drive the tent pegs deep, I took that to mean that I was to be rooted, grounded, established and firm through personal, intimate relationship with my Father God. I did do that for a season. I wrapped myself in the word and I pounded those pegs constantly. But then the ground got hard and the calouses on my hands began to hurt. All I can say today is that I should have used more rope and driven the tent pegs much deeper. I believe I have labored more than I probably needed to. I did not pay enough attention to these "words." I didn't take them serious enough. They weren't urgent enough. Remember the title of this? Outer collapses take place because inner strength cannot sustain them. I was being told the very same thing through Isaiah 54 1-6.

I have said before that Jesus usually spoke things two or three times in different ways so that everyone had a shot at getting it. God did that for me and I didn't fully get it. Today I am getting more. Here I am thinking I'm doing this for someone else or as ministry and all the while God is working in me. Energizing and creating in me both the will and desire.

Outer Collapse - Inner Strength Part 10

Your going to have to trust me. This does have a lot to do with the inner strength portion. I promise it will all come together if you stick with me. Actually this whole portion is for someone else. You need to hear the story. You need to know that "God is saying so" to YOU for it is YOUR time and YOUR place. BUT... do not do it if you cannot do the "this". And the "this" will be revealed in time.

Spread Out! Think Big! Isaiah 54:1-6 "Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby.

Of course I've never literally had a baby but these words were symbolic. Ann Marie and I have never done ministry for ourselves. We have always been the number 2 or support to whatever ministry or whoever came across our path. I was so to speak a barren..... child of God, pastor, whatever you would call me. Someone who had never had their own ministry. I spent my days caring for the birth of other men of God. I had never in 25 years conceived and birthed anything that was my own, yet I was like the husband that walks out the nine months of pregnancy and the minutes, or hours of labor that follow conception. I spent many sleepless nights answering the crys of a new born ministry. I related to these words immediately.

Fill the air with song, you who've never experienced childbirth!

After being let go from the ministry that you thought you'd spend the rest of your life with, you would think that filling the air with song was the last thing I would do. But I remember the morning after my last day and amazingly I did want to sing. I knew I was going to be alright. I knew that it was not an end but a beginning. Of what I had no idea but none the less there was a peace that had eluded me for many years. I could be myself!

You're ending up with far more children than all those childbearing women." God says so!

There was no doubt that this was a prophetic word as I had no money to conceive anything with. I had just a glimpse of what I might do and a hand full of people who came along side us during this unexpected chain of events. But... God says so! That I understood. All I was told to do up to this point, was to fill the air with song. That meant not filling the air with hurt, emotions of being betrayed, anger, revenge, or whatever else I could conjure up. In fact I was not defend myself, explain what had happened or even discuss anything with anybody about it. I was to fill the air with songs because I was ending up with far more children. What that was to look like, I had no clue.

"Clear lots of ground for your tents! Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big!

What ground? What tents? The only thing that gave me any clue was the "Make your tents large." I obviously was going to make something, and it was to be large. I was still in the dark about clearing the ground, but since I had to make something "I" thought that I had time to clear the ground for whatever I was to make. Can you see how many I's were in all that?

Use plenty of rope, drive the tent pegs deep.

Rope and tent pegs? Well I had to think about what symbolization was being shown me here. SO this is a natural resting place.

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