Troubled Believer Part 8

SELAH! Pause and think on that.

As I spent the weekend thinking on that... (Psalm 77) God brought more to the whole idea of a troubled believer. For instance when Jesus was in the garden. Matthew 26:37 And He took with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee (James and John) and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. Jesus becomes sorrowful and distressed. The Psalmist cried out to God with his voice - to God with his voice. In the day of his trouble he sought the Lord. He remembered God and was troubled.

These three men saw the sorrow and distress on Jesus. There was a noticeable change. The countenance of Jesus face was changing as He became troubled. My initial reaction was that the trouble Jesus faced was incredible, but.... honestly at the time of my trouble it sure felt like it would be my death as well. I could say that Jesus was literally facing death and my trouble is less than that.......... but.................. this journey of pursuing the nature of God is leading me to believe that the size of the trouble and for that matter, the cause of the trouble is not relevent. The nature of God is the same yesterday, today and forever. His love, His goodness, His kindness is always the same. So for me.... there is a more important truth lingering here which I'm moving toward. And may I add, not by my own choice, but it is God drawing me.

In verse 38 Jesus says, "My soul (mind, will and emotion) are exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me." I've read this before but never did it occur to me that Jesus told the three that were with Him that His soul was exceedingly sorrowful, to the point that He thought His sorrow would kill Him. But then, He does something that is usually missing from my conversations as I share my trouble. "Stay here and watch with Me." Watch literally means stay awake. Jesus says "stay here and stay awake with Me." I have shared with people and asked them to agree with me or stand with me. But then for whatever reason I don't pray, they don't pray and truthfully they never ask me about it again unless I bring it up. I'm not sure what I am expecting from them but something verses nothing seems reasonable? And as I write this I become increasingly aware that I have probably done that to others. God forgive me. Based on Jesus words in verse 40 He to expected something different than what these three hand selected men did as well. He says, "What? Could you not watch with me one hour?"

Jesus I wish I could but it was a late night and I'm just so tired. OK Ed, enough sarcasm.

Verse 39 He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying. SELAH I see a pattern in Jesus life. When He wanted time with His father he would separate Himself from every possible distraction. He went a little further away from the crowds. He got up long before the sun and other people. He even went a little further away from the three... which, He had invited to come with Him and asked them to watch with Him. I probably would have taken an offense here. Perhaps even grumbled just a bit. Maybe something like, "I don't know about you guys but why did He bring us out here if He was going leave us and go somewhere else?" "Might as well catch a nap. Who knows how long this is going to take." Sorry I'm just thinking out loud what I might have said or done in this situation. Often as I walk through the word and place myself into the story I get some understanding as to what I can take away from the written words.

Back to the rest of verse 39 "Oh My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; never the less, not as I will (not my desire), but as You will (your desire)." I do not really care why or what at this moment but, Jesus is crying out to His Father and asking, "if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me." In my understanding and it is limited, Jesus is a troubled believer and that's OK. In fact for me it's hope! It's comfort! It's encouraging to know that the trouble I'm experiencing... (regardless of the why or what!!) Jesus experienced as well. The discomfort of being troubled is no stranger to Jesus. And..... IT IS OK for me to ask God if there is another way. To question what appears to be certain death for me. But all the while surrendering my desires for His desires.

Now all that being said..... Jesus trouble was not in the certain death that He knew was soon to come. His trouble was not the shortness of His life or ministry time here on earth. It wasn't the three who couldn't watch with Him for one hour. It was knowing that in the very near future there would be a brief period of time where He would experience separation from His Father.

Perhaps it is that during my troubles I am feeling the separation from My Father. I have always dwelt upon what I perceived as the trouble or source of the trouble. If in the past that has not been the case it is certainly moving in that direction today. My focus is changing. My pursuit of the nature of God is causing me to BE different. Notice I did not say to do something different. The only thing I am doing is pursuing BEING. Once again I say, As I get a deeper revelation of the relationship that the Father desires with me, my doing, my response will take care of itself. SELAH!