Yet To Be Titled

We believe God will intervene, we pray for a miracle, and our prayers come back seemingly unanswered.

Today I'm going to use two different colors of text. Black for my words and blue for the book.

CHAPTER 2 Up In Smoke

Chapter 2 is all about a man named Richard who was a theology student at Wheaton Bible College and wanted Philip to review a paper he had written on the book of Job. Richard and Philip had never met but after a phone conversation Philip agreed to review the paper.

Richard and Philip conversed over the next year in a series of phone calls. Then one day Richard again called and stated that he had signed a book contract based on his paper.

Then... six months later shortly before the publication date Richard called and his voice was different. He was tense, edgy and would not speak about the book. All he wanted to do was meet Philip and so they set the time to do so. Richard then told Philip that the book that was about to be released was no longer his belief. He said "I hate God!" Then he said no I don't mean that, "I don't even believe in God."

Eighteen months and everything changed. Richards parents divorced. He said I prayed night and day. I dropped out of school and went home to focus on getting them back together but nothing.

I'm going to share word for word what Richard said because it's where many have been and many are. "I transferred to Wheaton Bible College to learn more about the faith. I figured I must be doing something wrong. At Wheaton, I met people who used phrases like I spoke with God, and the Lord told me. I sometimes talked like that too, but never without a twitch of guilt. Did the Lord really tell me anything? I never heard a voice or had any proof of God I could see or touch. Yet I longed for that kind of closeness.

Each time I faced a crucial decision I would read the Bible and pray for guidance, like your supposed to. Whenever I felt right about the decision, I would act on it. But, I swear, I ended up making the wrong choice every time. Just when I really thought I understood God's will, then everything would backfire on me."

Then Richard told about a job opportunity that had fallen through. The employer reneged on a promise to him and hired someone less qualified, leaving him with debts and no income. The Richard told about how his fiance jilted him. No warning, no explanation just an abrupt change of heart. And the he shared about some physical problems that left him with a sense of helplessness and depression. Richards pastor told him that when things straighten out with your girlfriend they will straighten out with God.

In a short eighteen months Richard's life had changed and so had his perception and belief in God. What changed? Was it God or was it life? Some may think that's a trick question. God is life and our life should be God. Right....? It will take more than today to explain my next statement but I think I will be able to by the end of the book. Here goes.... God is God and life is life. They are not one. God does what God does regardless of life and the circumstances that life brings. He is sovereign. And life does what it does. Example: I can't say that God directs another car to crash into me as I stop at a traffic light. I can say that God can and will use that in some strange way, but as for making it happen........ I'm not there. I don't want to get to deep in this or we'll get to far off from the book.

Richard told how he prayer for four hours pleading with God for some sign. He tells how, at four in the morning he stopped. He says he came to his senses and nothing had happened, so why not forget God and just get on with life. And he says that he felt an instant release, a sense of freedom. He said that he took his Bible and a couple other Christian books, went downstairs opened the back door, sprayed them with lighter fluid from the backyard grill and set them on fire. Going up and down the stairs he repeated the same ritual eight more times. had it not been for the fire department showing up Richard would have burned every book. Richard was done with God.

I know people that have come close to Richard's despair. I have considered once or twice what life would be like without my belief in God. Twenty years ago I pulled back out of every Christian activity I could think of including church. My thought was that I could have relationship with God without all the organized church "stuff". I like Richard got rid of all the books, tapes etc. I didn't burn them I gave them to people who I thought need them. And I kept my Bible. After all I wasn't giving up on God I was just done with organized Christianity. My struggles were not parents divorcing or loss of a job. My struggle came from the inconsistency in the walk of the "Christians". Can I just say that not much has changed in the past twenty years. My plan worked for a while but near the end of that seven years I began to realize and see just how close I was to removing God from my life completely. The things I could see, hear, taste, touch and smell had become more real to me than the God I could not see, hear, taste, touch or smell. I had staked my life on God and for the most part I felt like God couldn't or wouldn't do anything to fix Christianity.

I can not count the number of prayers that I have prayed that seemingly come back unanswered. But I also can not count the number of prayers I didn't pray that have seemingly come back answered. Does that make sense? And then there are the prayers that I have prayed that seemingly have been answered or have they just been the result of life. So many questions.