This series began in a book written by Philip Yancey that told the story of a man named Richard and how he had become disappointed with God to the point of giving up his belief in God. Richards questions became Philip's questions and now to some degree they have become mine. They have sent me on a search. One in which I think, I already know the answer, but I must pursue if for no other reason than just to see if/what/how much I have missed in my journey.
In this chapter, Philip shares a letter from a woman named Meg Woodson, a long time friend of his. I'd love to share the entire letter but it's way to long so I will try to capture the main elements and share them. Meg is a devout Christian, a pastors wife, and a writer.
The Woodson's had two children - Peggie and Joey - both born with cystic fibrosis. They coughed constantly and labored to breathe. Several weeks each year were spent in hospitals and both were expected to die before reaching adulthood. Joey died at age twelve. But Peggie defied the odds. Philip shares how he and the Woodsons would pray for a miraculous healing. Peggie went away to college and seemed to grow stronger, not weaker and hopes rose. But no miracle.... Peggie died at age twenty three. Meg, Peggie's mom wrote a letter to Philip after Peggie's death.
She explained that she felt the need to tell Philip about how Peggie died. She said I don't know why, but I need to share this and I refuse to do it with friends that were close by and who had lived this with her. She simply says that she ran out of people to tell. The weekend before Peggie went into the hospital, she was very excited about a quotation from William Barclay. "Endurance is not just about the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory." The minister who shared the words then banged the pulpit, turned his back and cried.
Things were not going well in the hospital and one day Peg said, "Hey, Ma, remember that quotation?" She looked around the room at all the tubes and machines, etc., nodded her head, raised her eyes and with excitement committed herself to those words. When Peg was asked by people as to what they could pray for, she would tell them to pray that her hard time would be turned into glory. Peg's mom recalls the final days where she would sit beside the bed and all of a sudden Peg would scream. Nurses ran into the room to comfort her with love. Peggie's nurse explains that there isn't one nurse on the floor, who does not have at least one patient she would give one of her lungs to save, if she could.
Then Meg shares that when the nurses could no longer help because they could only stay on the floor so long, that God, who could have helped, looked down on a young woman devoted to Him, quite willing to die for Him to give Him glory, and decided to sit on His hands and let her death top the horror charts for cystic fibrosis deaths.
Meg shares that there are moments when her only responses are grief and an anger as violent as any she had ever known. And expressing it does not dissipate it, she says. Peggie never once complained against God and neither did any of those that lived this with the Woodsons.
Meg says that she had never shared any of that with anyone because she did not want to disturb someone else's faith. I pause myself many times before sharing for that same reason.
I like her closing words, "Don't think you must say anything to "make me feel better." "But thanks for listening."
Christians.... who believe God is a loving Father, yet watch horrible things go on in peoples lives. How can the two fit together? John Updike wrote, "Somethings gone wrong. I have no faith. Or, rather, I have faith, but it doesn't seem to apply."
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