Why Doesn't God Explain - Chapter 25

Philip says that for many, a non-answer only leads to more questions. For me.... well, I'm not surprised by the lack of an answer. Maybe I've been asking the questions so long that it has just become evident to me that, God does not intend for me to know what only He can see, and understand. I know some who have just given up asking not only the questions, but anything of God. They have been worn down by the lack of response from God. Kind of like a child and a parent. The child keeps asking for something and the parent ignores the child in hopes that the child will get tired of asking. I'm not there but I shared in earlier chapters that I thought I knew where this book was going and that it was curiosity as to whether I had missed something or not that drove me to read the book. Thus far no surprises and no disappointments. We'll..... maybe a little? I would welcome a missed step or the exposure of a misguided belief, anything that would answer the questions, but I'm not seeing any of that. God has simply chosen to reveal Himself to me and not the advance details of His plans for me regarding my life here on earth.

So where does that leave us? Philip writes that due to the lack of an answer and silence from the Bible, he now will share pure speculation. He says this for the persons who can not accept a non-answer, for those who cannot stop asking questions that God has declined to answer. Speculation seems dangerous to me. Job's three friends did a lot of speculating and where did that leave them in the end?

Perhaps God keeps us ignorant because enlightenment might not help us. Suffering people have the same types of questions. Why? Why me? What is God trying to tell me? I'm asking myself it it would really make a difference if God did answer my questions? I am making a big assumption that it would. But really.... would I bear what I think is "my" suffering any better if I knew the reason behind the suffering? The prophet Jeremiah in the book of Lamentations was not in the dark or without answers. He knew exactly why Jerusalem had been destroyed. The Hebrews had broken covenant with God. But knowing the cause did nothing to alleviate the suffering or feelings of despair and abandonment for Jeremiah. "The Lord is like an enemy, Why do you always forget us? Why do you forsake us so long?" Jeremiah knew full well the answers yet it did nothing for him. Conclusion..... there is only one...... no intellectual answer will solve suffering.

Job repented. His three friends repented. Jesus rebuked the disciples when they drew conclusions about a man born blind in John 9 and about two local catastrophes in Luke 13. God did send His son in response to human pain, to experience it and absorb it into Himself. That act of love did not solve human suffering but it was an active and very personal response.

Conclusion.... there is only one..... no intellectual answer will solve suffering. I cannot honestly say that, even if I knew every detail of why.... that I would not still ask, why, or.... try to persuade and negotiate a different ending, other that what God had intended.

That takes us to speculation number two. Perhaps God keeps us ignorant because we are incapable of comprehending the answer.

Why Doesn't God Explain - Chapter 25

"God doesn't reveal His grand design. He reveals Himself!" I like it. It sounds good to my ears. But... in the process of God revealing Himself doesn't His grand design just come as part of it? If He reveals His goodness then isn't the design for Him to give or show goodness? If He reveals love then wouldn't He do acts that demonstrate His love? Grand Design..... Himself?

For 35 chapters "Job whines, "Why are you treating me so unfairly, God?" "Put yourself in my place." God thunders in reply, "NO!!!" "You put yourself in MY place! When you can make the sun rise, when you can cause lightening to scatter across the earth, when you can create a hippopotamus, then we can consider trading places. But, until then, don't judge how I run the world." Job repents while he sits in dust and ashes and every trace of disappointment with God disappears.

That's great for Job.... he heard a voice from a cloud, okay a storm. I may never hear a voice from a whirlwind and many others may not as well so we or I am left trying to figure out what God is doing so that I can get past these nagging questions. They appear every constantly in situations that make no sense. They show up uninvited and often with no advance warning. God refuses to answer Job's questions and His explanation as to why is simply that, it's beyond Job's grasp. Great... the most righteous man on the earth can not grasp God. So that leaves me with the idea that God's stand is, "Why bother to explain? Not Job nor any other human being can understand."

Philip shares about a book called Encyclopedia Of Ignorance. It's filled with areas of science that we cannot explain; but scientist all over the world are doing their best to discover the gaps in knowledge in those areas. He suggests that a book titled the Encyclopedia Of Theological Ignorance may exist as well. That being said means that there are people all over the world doing their best to discover the gaps in knowledge about God as well.

We'll do are part in that and continue to push forward through this book, still with no answers. We'll that's not entirely true. The one answer we can conclusively come to so far is that like Job, we get no answers. No disrespect to Philip, Job, or God but... thanks for nothing.

Why Doesn't God Explain - Chapter 25

Just so you know, I am not ignoring, nor adopting, or embracing the idea that God and life are two different things. It's not one of those things that I will be able to do anything with in a day, a week, or even a month. So it is sitting on the back burner, just simmering for another time.

Just about the time I think I have a fairly decent view of God, and who He is, and how big He is something comes along to let me know how little I know. Job gets enlightenment, from God, (and that's to put it mildly) in chapters 38 and 39 of the book of Job. I get enlightenment in chapter 25 in the book of Philip Yancey and Disappointment With God. I am going to take my time with this chapter so please don't get bored or impatient. We must and we will get through it together because it is important stuff. perhaps the reason it made such an impact on me is because it is a visual chapter. I am a visual person. I love to use objects when I teach. Anyway....

A man named Elihu gets five chapters of Job to address and ridicule Job's friends and Job's desire for a visit from God. "Do you think God cares about a puny creature like you? Do you imagine that almighty God, the Maker of the Universe, will consider a visit to earth and meet with you in person? Does He owe you some kind of explanation? Get serious Ed... I mean Job!" As Elihu chatters on for 5 chapters a tiny cloud appears on the horizon, just over his shoulder. The cloud continues to draw closer and turns into a storm and then....... a Voice, yes, a Voice like no other speaks out from the storm. (A Voice from a storm! That would do it for all my questions... wouldn't it?) Elihu shuts up and Job trembles. What's up with that? He was asking for 35 chapters for God to show up, He does and Job trembles. God is in the house! He has come to reply, IN PERSON, to Job's accusations of unfairness.

Now I... like Job have an idea of what we want to hear from God at this moment. "Ed..." sorry I mean "Job, I'm truly sorry about what's happened. You endured many unfair trials on My behalf, and I'm proud of you. You don't know what this means to Me and to the universe." Philip says, "a few compliments, a dose of compassion, a brief "behind the scenes" look and all would have been well." But God, being God does nothing of the sort. As if there are not enough questions, God begins by asking questions. God seems to ignore or set aside the 35 chapters of the pain of Job and Philip says, "gives Job a magnificent visual tour of the natural world. A guided tour of the private gallery of His favorite works, lingering with pride over canvases of mountain goats, wild donkeys, ostriches and eagles as if astonished by His own creation." While Philip has accurately described what God did, my take a couple of years ago during my study was a little different. I saw what God did as.... well... almost a slap in the face for Job. God saying, get your attention on the things of God. God, firmly establishing who He is. After all it is a voice from a storm. God then giving His credentials, establishing His authority so that he can say what needs to be said, and that it will be not only heard, but received and acted upon.

In the book Wishful Thinking, the author Fredrick Buechner sums up God's speech this way. "God doesn't explain. He explodes. He asks Job who He thinks He is anyway. He says that to try to explain the kind of things Job wants explained would be like trying to explain Einstein to a clam. God does not reveal His grand design. He reveals Himself. Here it is plain and simple. Ed... I mean Job, Until you know a little more about running the physical universe, don't tell me how to run the moral universe."

Fredrick Buechner and I probably need some form of counseling. Philip sees what is probably the more true character of God verses our "LORD, RULER, MASTER concept. Gentleness and grace verses a slap or an explosion. Counseling may not really be necessary but perhaps a better understanding of the Father's love. I hope that I have come to see more of that over the past year as I have purposed to focus, not always successfully, on the Father, His love and what it looks like for me.

IS GOD UNFAIR? - Chapter 24

When Jesus encountered a sick person, he never delivered a lecture about "accepting your lot in life;" He healed whoever approached Him. When the Son of God met a person in pain, He was deeply moved with compassion. Philip says after reading all the gospels form beginning to end that, if we would spend our lives as Jesus did, ministering to the sick, feeding the hungry, resisting the powers of evil, comforting those who mourn, and bringing the Good News of love and forgiveness, then perhaps the question "Is God unfair?" would not be asked with such urgency today.

Jesus on a cross was not fair. The persecution He suffered prior to and on the way to that cross was not fair. The way those closest to Him reacted to this unfair treatment was not fair. Many things that are spoken about Him to this very day are not true or fair. The cross of Christ overcame evil but it did nothing for unfairness. Easter gave us the assurance that one day God will restore "physical" reality to its proper place under His reign.

Is God unfair? If God Himself was not exempt from tragedy or disappointment then why would we be removed from it. If Jesus was not offered and He Himself did not offer immunity or a way out of unfairness then what are we thinking. BUT.... God and Jesus did give us a way through the unfairness, a way to get to the other side of it. Good Friday demolished the idea that life is supposed to be fair. Easter showed us that out of darkness a bright light shinned.

We often think a miracle or two would change us, life and the world around us. We need more than a miracle. We need a new heaven and a new earth, and until we have them, unfairness will be an every day staple of life.

To be committed to love God at all, let alone in the wilderness, is like being commanded to be well when we are sick, to sing for joy when we are dying for thirst, to run when our legs are broken. But this is the first and great commandment nonetheless. Even in the wilderness, especially in the wilderness, you shall love Him. Fredrick Buechner

IS GOD UNFAIR? - Chapter 24

Scott Peck author of The Road Less Traveled opens his book with the words "Life is difficult." These words come from the perspective of an individual who is viewing the world as it is verses the world as it ought to be according to their beliefs.

In the book of Job all parties agree that God should reward those who do good and punish those who do evil. Today, most would probably agree with that as well, but maybe not? What is the definition of good and evil?

Job's wife offers him one solution. "Curse God and die!" We probably all know to many people who have agreed with the concept of, "Why hold on to a sentimental belief in a loving God when so much of life conspires against it?"

Others who can not deny that God exists, simply state that, God agrees that life is unfair , but that He cannot do anything about it. This idea is written about in the book, When Bad Things Happen To Good People. The author Rabbi Kushner concluded that "even God has a hard time keeping the chaos in check," and that God, is "a God of justice and not of power."

A third option is to look to the future and believe that justice will work itself out in the universe. Unfairness is a temporary condition. Out of this concept comes the Hindu doctrine of Karma. At the end of 6,800,000 incarnations a soul would realize perfect justice.

The last approach is to deny the problem and insist that life is fair. Job's friends insisted that the world does run according to fixed, regular laws: good people will prosper and evil ones will fail. So if that's the case will someone please explain AIDS babies and the like. Should someone have told Meg Woodson that God took Peg away because of something you did wrong?

IN MY OPINION, my conclusion is that life is not completely fair and we as Christians need to stop denying it or watering it down. "God is trying to teach you something. You should feel privileged, not bitter, about your opportunity to lean on Him in faith." "Just meditate on the blessings you still enjoy... at least you are still alive. Are you a fair-weather believer?" "Someone is always worse off then you. Give thanks despite your circumstances." While each of those sentiments offer some truth Job clearly shows us that "helpful advice" does nothing to answer the questions of a person in pain. It's the wrong medicine, dispensed at the wrong time.

I am going to tell you up-front that I need some time to digest the remainder of this chapter as the theology does not sit all that well with me, yet something about it does get my attention. Philip shares the story of a man named Douglas. The story is filled with tragedy. In fact one after another and without all the details let me simply say that it's more tragedy than I think any one person should bear. That being said, Philip decides to interview Douglas and get his perspective on the God of unfairness. Douglas surprised Philip by saying after a long period of silence, "Philip, I didn't feel any disappointment with God." SHOCK! Multiple incidents of cancer with his wife a disabling accident caused by a drunk driver and you never experienced disappointment with God? Douglas explains that through his wife's cancer that he had learned not to confuse God with life. WHAT? Can you say that again? You learned not to confuse God with life? He then quickly says, that he is as upset about what has happened to he and his wife as anyone could be. He also says that he feels free to curse the unfairness of life and to vent his anger and his grief. But... he believes that God feels the same way about the accident, that he too is angry and grieved. Douglas explains that he has learned to see beyond the physical reality in this world, to the spiritual reality. He says, "We think life should be fair because God is fair.' But God is not life." Douglas concludes by saying that, if he confuses God with physical reality, by expecting constant good health, for example, then he sets himself up for a crashing disappointment. "God's existence, even His love for me, does not depend on my good health," says Douglas.

God.... Life..... God... Life... Two separate things? This is a stretch for me as I have always though the two were one in the same. God is life... isn't he? Am I not living according to His plan and purpose for me, that was established long before the foundation of the earth? My mind is flooded with verses that have supported my belief. Can life exist outside of God? I clearly can see how that belief can keep me from being disappointed with God. Anything bad is blamed on life and the unfairness of life, not God. Thus, I would never again be disappointed with God. Don't misunderstand my pause in jumping on the bandwagon of this theology. I believe there is a physical reality of life and I believe there is a spiritual reality of God. My pause comes in separating the two. The physical reality of life being separate from the spiritual reality of God?????????

A ROLE IN THE COSMOS - Chapter 23

In this chapter Philip makes the case for our seemingly unimportant situations to be just the opposite. He states that our disappointment with God usually begins with Job-like circumstances. The death of a child, a tragic accident, a loss of a job and we ask, why me? What does God have against me? Our life becomes consumed by the circumstances and we can't see beyond them. We live in the shadows of our circumstances. Often times we beg God to change those circumstances. If only I were beautiful or handsome, then everything would work out. If only I had more money, or at least a job, then I could easily believe God.

Chapter 23 and the book of Job is all about something bigger than our circumstances. It's about the universal battle between God and the devil. A battle not seen on this earth but one that is being waged in the heavenlies. The book of Job begins from God's point of view. Job according to God is the most righteous man on earth. The devil accuses God not Job. He accuses God of preferential treatment toward Job. The devil says that without that preferential treatment Job would not trust God. The book of Job shows us that we have a part to play in the reversal of all that is wrong with the universe. It shows us that God who could in the blink of an eye fix it all is committed to creation and His plan for us to participate in the process.

How do we do that? My only answer is, day by day, step by step, one decision at a time. My question should not be, "Why?" Instead it should be, "To what end?" All through history God's motive has been to develop us, mankind, who have been and always will be at the center of His plan. Every act of faith by every one of His people is like the ringing of a bell that declares victory is certain.

Our present life feels like a real fight, as if there were something really wild in the universe which we, with all our idealities and faithfulnesses, are needed to redeem. - William James.

THE ONLY PROBLEM - Chapter 22

I knew that we could not look at the question of disappointment with God without going to the book of Job. Sure enough chapter 22 takes us there. About a two years ago I found myself there. I had always heard the book of Job was about his fear. The thing Job feared came upon him. Job prayed daily for his kids and made mention that they may have done things that were not pleasing to God and so he interceded on their behalf. I spent 6 months in the book and in MY OPINION the book of Job is not about his fear. I turned my attention to God and how he seemed to taunt the devil to consider Job. In MY OPINION the book of Job is not about God taunting the devil either. Then the case could surely be made for the book being about pain and suffering and loss. All Job's children, seven sons and three daughters gone in a day. Then 7000 sheep, 300 camels. 5000 oxen, 500 donkeys, servants and yes... Job's own health. I can think of no one, I know, experiencing to that degree, in that short of time, such loss.

The first two chapters of Job set the background, all the things I mentioned above. The next 35 chapters are just the opinionated dialogues of five men concerning the problem of pain. They are all trying to figure it out. And that's where most of us live each day. The book of Job can be miss understood to be about trying to figure it out. I read it over and over and that's what stood out. 35 chapters of conversation about Job and his suffering. It finally hit me after about four months of reading and rereading and rereading and each time God would say read it again, you don't get it. Finally, and I can't tell you what was different but it came to me...when did the bible or God become about me? Just as a cake is made with eggs the cake is not just eggs. A cake uses eggs, flour, milk and shortening. Job is not about suffering, it just uses that ingredient in a much bigger picture. Eggs don't get me a cake and suffering doesn't get me the meaning of the book of Job.

God is the central character in the Bible and every story told in it. My initial take of God in chapters one and two was "NO THANK YOU!" I do not want God looking at me and seeing me as righteous and then loosing the devil on me. My take has changed regarding those chapters. They are about God saying, "Don't worry, I'll be with you." The thirty five chapters that follow are distractions. Making a long story short i found that upon reading Job I was constantly faced with the question, where is God when it hurts? The actual focus of my attention should have been... where is Job when it hurts? SELAH (pause and think on this)!

It is MY conclusion that the book of Job is all about faith in God and faith in God is all about relationship with God.

INTERRUPTED - Chapter 21

This series began in a book written by Philip Yancey that told the story of a man named Richard and how he had become disappointed with God to the point of giving up his belief in God. Richards questions became Philip's questions and now to some degree they have become mine. They have sent me on a search. One in which I think, I already know the answer, but I must pursue if for no other reason than just to see if/what/how much I have missed in my journey.

In this chapter, Philip shares a letter from a woman named Meg Woodson, a long time friend of his. I'd love to share the entire letter but it's way to long so I will try to capture the main elements and share them. Meg is a devout Christian, a pastors wife, and a writer.

The Woodson's had two children - Peggie and Joey - both born with cystic fibrosis. They coughed constantly and labored to breathe. Several weeks each year were spent in hospitals and both were expected to die before reaching adulthood. Joey died at age twelve. But Peggie defied the odds. Philip shares how he and the Woodsons would pray for a miraculous healing. Peggie went away to college and seemed to grow stronger, not weaker and hopes rose. But no miracle.... Peggie died at age twenty three. Meg, Peggie's mom wrote a letter to Philip after Peggie's death.

She explained that she felt the need to tell Philip about how Peggie died. She said I don't know why, but I need to share this and I refuse to do it with friends that were close by and who had lived this with her. She simply says that she ran out of people to tell. The weekend before Peggie went into the hospital, she was very excited about a quotation from William Barclay. "Endurance is not just about the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory." The minister who shared the words then banged the pulpit, turned his back and cried.

Things were not going well in the hospital and one day Peg said, "Hey, Ma, remember that quotation?" She looked around the room at all the tubes and machines, etc., nodded her head, raised her eyes and with excitement committed herself to those words. When Peg was asked by people as to what they could pray for, she would tell them to pray that her hard time would be turned into glory. Peg's mom recalls the final days where she would sit beside the bed and all of a sudden Peg would scream. Nurses ran into the room to comfort her with love. Peggie's nurse explains that there isn't one nurse on the floor, who does not have at least one patient she would give one of her lungs to save, if she could.

Then Meg shares that when the nurses could no longer help because they could only stay on the floor so long, that God, who could have helped, looked down on a young woman devoted to Him, quite willing to die for Him to give Him glory, and decided to sit on His hands and let her death top the horror charts for cystic fibrosis deaths.

Meg shares that there are moments when her only responses are grief and an anger as violent as any she had ever known. And expressing it does not dissipate it, she says. Peggie never once complained against God and neither did any of those that lived this with the Woodsons.

Meg says that she had never shared any of that with anyone because she did not want to disturb someone else's faith. I pause myself many times before sharing for that same reason.

I like her closing words, "Don't think you must say anything to "make me feel better." "But thanks for listening."

Christians.... who believe God is a loving Father, yet watch horrible things go on in peoples lives. How can the two fit together? John Updike wrote, "Somethings gone wrong. I have no faith. Or, rather, I have faith, but it doesn't seem to apply."

THE CULMINATION - Chapter 20

From chapter one of the book there has been no question that the book for the most part was written and being read by seemingly victims of unmet promises and unmet expectations. That being said, we can come to the probable conclusion that as readers we are not comforted nor enthusiastically receiving much from the words of Paul or the New Testament.

Richard was looking for the "manifold wisdom of God" in the church. That's where I have searched as well. But the church's obvious defects seem to expose the risk that God took in committing His Spirit to flawed human beings. The church in Corinth verses the racism in South Africa, bloodshed in Northern Ireland, and scandals among U.S. Christian leaders. So I think it would be fair to say that a large part of our disappointment with God comes from our disillusionment with other Christians.

It seems that with God's reliance on the church, we can almost be assured of disappointment with Him. If the Hebrews wanted to know God's will, the High Priest had ways of discerning the answer. Today 1,275 denominations in the U.S. attest to the difficulty of the church agreeing on God's will about anything. That's part of the risk that God took with human beings.

So what was God thinking? Why take such a risk? Paul may have responded to those questions like this. "Are you crazy?! Go back and read Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy at one sitting, and then we can talk. You call those "the good old days"? Who wants to live like that? Do you want to spend every day of your life worrying about your destiny? Do you want to scramble all day to make sure you keep all the rules? Do you want to go through long rituals and animal sacrifices and a fancy-dressed high priest just to approach God? I spent half my life trying to live up to those demands, and you can have them. The difference between the law and the Spirit is the difference between death and life."

Sure there is risk in placing the Spirit in mankind's hands. Risk on both sides. For us, it means risking our independence by committing to follow an invisible God who requires of us faith and obedience. For God, it means risking that we, like the Israelites, may never grow up, it means risking that we may never love Him. He must have weighed the cost and thought it worth while.

God's voice in the beginning was thunderously loud. When He spoke mountains trembled. Yet those that heard it and even feared it, became increasingly able to ignore it. When the voice grew silent very few persevered. Then the voice of Jesus came down to the level of a human voice, but still carrying with it the authority of God. Now, there is the voice of the Spirit. It is as close to us as breath and as gentle as a whisper. It is the most vulnerable voice as it can be quenched and grieved. The gentle whisper of the voice of the Spirit intercedes for us in our moments of weakness. It is the most intimate voice.

The Spirit can not and will not take away our disappointment with God. In fact the very titles given to the Spirit are almost a guarantee that we will have such disappointments. Intercessor, Helper, Counselor, Comforter? Comforter? Why would I need a comforter if there were to be no disappointments in life? The Spirit's whisper is there to remind us of a new reality, one into which we will awaken for eternity.

I said to my soul, be still, and let the dark come upon you,

Which shall be the darkness of God....

I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope,

For hope would be hope for the wrong thing;

wait without love,

For love would be love of the wrong thing;

there is yet faith,

But the faith and the love and the hope are all in waiting. T.S. Eliot

CHANGES IN THE WIND - Chapter 19

" As the Father has sent Me, I am sending you." Then at the day of Pentecost the Spirit of God took up residence in mankind. Now, the people of the earth are identified as "in Christ." The "church" is born. The "church," a section of humanity in which Christ has taken form. Simply identified by Paul as "the body of Christ."

So you ask, what is God like? Look at the people in any church. "SURELY YOU JEST! I don't mean to be cynical but really. Is that what God had in mind?

Delegation comes with risk. When you turn over a job to someone, and you let go, you assume a certain amount of risk. So when God decides to make His appeal through us, He takes a risk. A risk that we will misrepresent Him. A risk that looks like, slavery, the Ku Klux Klan, wars, hate, and all the other things humanity can execute on one another. The doctrine of the Holy Spirit is the doctrine of "the church"; God living in us. Paul says that the plan is the foolishness of God and I couldn't agree more. BUT... Paul continues to say, "the foolishness of God is wiser than men." While I try to embrace Paul's words and mind set, there are times when I wonder.

We the flawed, ordinary people, the church are the representatives of God's holiness on earth. The perfect God now lives inside imperfect human beings. And because He respects our freedom, the Spirit in effect "subjects Himself" to our behavior. We can lie to, or grieve, or quench the Spirit. When we choose wrongly, we literally subject God to the wrong choice that we made. Look at I Corinthians 6 to read a Biblical account of such actions. In this age of the Spirit, God delegates His reputation, His essence, to us, His people, His church.

We the flawed, ordinary people, the church are to do the work of God on earth. God provided manna in the wilderness for the Israelite and even made sure their shoes did not wear out. Jesus fed hungry people and ministered directly to people and their needs. So why not today you ask? In the new testament things seemed to change. Locked in a cold dungeon, Paul looks to his long-time friend Timothy to meet his physical needs. "Bring my cloak and my scrolls," he wrote, "and also Mark, who has always been so helpful." Then when famine broke out in Jerusalem, Paul led a fund-raising effort among the churches he had founded. God is still meeting needs but now doing it indirectly through the young church, through members of the body of Christ.

Paul drove this concept home with the people of his day and through his written words today. On the road to Damascus Paul, then Saul ,saw a light bright enough to blind him for three days and he heard a voice from heaven: "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" Persecute you? Persecute who? I am only after those heretics the Christians. "Who are you, Lord?" asked Saul at last, knocked flat on the ground. "I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting," came the reply. What hurt the body of Christ in fact hurt Jesus. What hurt the body of Christ hurt God. Paul learned this lesson well and never stopped sharing it.

Remember Richard who asked, "where is God?" Show me. I want to see him? Based on the doctrine of the Holy Spirit, we must say that some portion of the answer to his question is this: If you want to see God, then look at the people who belong to Him - they are His bodies." They are the body of Christ. The word is full of passages that direct us to live lives in contrast to the world but I wonder how many of us understand the real importance of those words. I know that I don't. I am left asking myself this question. When they look at me, a part of the body of Christ, what will they see? What will their perception of God be?

Ephesians 1:20 All this energy issues from Christ: God raised him from death and set him on a throne in deep heaven, in charge of running the universe, everything from galaxies to governments, no name and no power exempt from his rule. And not just for the time being, but forever. He is in charge of it all, has the final word on everything. At the center of all this, Christ rules the church. The church, you see, is not peripheral to the world; the world is peripheral to the church. The church is Christ's body, in which he speaks and acts, by which he fills everything with his presence.

THE TRANSFER - Chapter 18

Seventy have been commissioned by Jesus. He says, "I am sending you out like lambs among the wolves. Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road."

"I (Jesus)..... am sending..... (YOU/ED) OUT!" "OUT?" "Yes, out of what is comfortable. Out of what is familiar. And... you are like a lamb among the wolves." "Then don't send me out!" Seems like a wise and logical response?

"Ed.... do not take a purse or bag or sandals." "OK let me get this straight. You want me to go out among the wolves who will kill for a meal. And you're telling me that I am like a lamb which says to me that I am not prepared or equipped to defend myself or even care for myself. AND... in addition that, you do not want me to take any provisions that just might better allow me to care for myself?" "You got it."

"Ed... one last thing. Do not greet anyone on the road." "Don't greet anyone? I'll be lucky to live long enough to even see anyone."

There is no room for questions as Jesus continues on saying, "He who listens to you listens to Me; he who rejects you, rejects Me; but he who rejects me rejects Him who sent me." So is that supposed to give me some comfort? What does it mean? I'm about to become dead meat for a pack of wolves and Jesus is giving me gibberish.

Off we go... OUT! OUT... a lamb among the wolves. BUT... in a few days we all return unscathed by the wolves. Jesus listens intently to the details of each of our stories. Healings, exorcisms, and transformed lives! A new found strength makes this a celebration a victory party. Jesus then announces, "I saw Satan fall like lightening from heaven." Again what does that have to do with anything? All I can figure is that we must have passed some kind of test, that some sort of breakthrough must have occurred. Then He leans into the group and says in a quiet voice, "Many prophets and kings wanted to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it." HUH?

This scene of Sending the Seventy as well as the Last Supper and the Ascension help us to get a better understanding of why Jesus came to earth, and why He left. While He came to show us what God is like, He also came to establish a Church, a dwelling place for the Spirit of God. So when Jesus said, "He who listens to you listens to Me" He was very excited. He was seeing His mission, His own life, being lived out through seventy commonplace human beings.

At the Ascension, Jesus body left the earth. But, at Pentecost, the Spirit of God took up residence in other bodies. THE TRANSFER took place. Today we benefit greatly by that transfer. Today we, have the Spirit of God dwelling in us, working through us, interceding for us!

Jesus said, "I confer on you a kingdom, just as My Father conferred on Me."

PROGRESS - Chapter 17

What difference does all the previous information and for that fact Jesus have to do with our feelings of disappointment with God? I have no doubt that Jesus tasted disappointment and more than once. But.... thus far it seems like we're getting a Theologians explanation for our disappointment. Justification, reconciliation, propitiation, just some legal terms that I and many others don't really understand and thus do not relate very well to. And thus is probably a part of the foundation for our questions?

Philip the author suggests that we look past those words and look at the underlying story of God's passionate pursuit of human beings. He offers the story of the Prodigal Son as an illustration for God's passion for us. In case you're not familiar with the story it's one of an anxious father grieving over his runaway son. Our Waiting Father, waiting patiently for us His runaway children to come home.

The first difference Jesus makes in our disappointment with God is the introduction of INTIMACY. One man touches the Ark of the Covenant and falls down dead. People touch the hem of Jesus garment and come away healed. Jesus introduced God as ABBA or "Daddy." In Jesus, God came close. The book goes on to differentiate between the God of the Old Testament and Jesus. The book of Hebrews gives full account of these differences. Only once a year on a specified day could one person enter the Holy Place. Special clothing, five sacrifices, ritual baths, and a bell tied to an ankle with a rope so that if the person died they could pull him out. Today everyone can come boldly before the throne with great confidence. So Jesus contributes to the problem of disappointment with God: because today we do not need a human mediator.

Jesus provides a face for God. If I wonder how God thinks about deformed or disabled people, I can look at how Jesus moved among the crippled, the blind and those with leprosy. If I wonder about the poor and whether God destined them to to lives of misery, I can read Jesus words in the Sermon on the Mount. And if I have question about the "spiritual" response to pain and suffering, I can recall how Jesus responded with fear, trembling, loud cries and tears.

In the New testament Paul is convinced that Jesus has changed the universe forever. He continually says things like, "In Christ all things hold together, through Him He reconciled all things to Himself, whether things on earth or things in heaven... Christ is seated above the rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come." So why some twenty centuries after Paul's grand declarations is Philip Yancey devoting an entire book to the topic of disappointment with God. And why would I spend weeks trying to unwrap the secrets of that book for myself and others?

Philip states, his questions of God being hidden and silent seem to be of less importance. For me there seems to be at least some level of satisfaction with the answers interwoven in the first 17 chapters of this book regarding God's hiddenness and silence. But is God unfair? That's still bursting with desire to be answered. Even in the death of Jesus, the seemingly unfairness of God did not disappear. In fact it seems to worsen. Jesus very disciples received the "rewards" of prison, death, torture, and martyrdom.

All that being said, Jesus did change things forever. Jesus identified with man. And now we can envision a God who can identify with us. Jesus, a spirit, had never been confined to the world of matter. He experienced human flesh, the feelings of pain and suffering. The Old testament showed us what it "Feels like" to be God, but the New testament records what happened when God learned what it felt like to be a human being. Whatever mankind has felt God has felt as one of us. God understands our feelings of disappointment with Him. "MY God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Jesus cried. God's Son "learned obedience" from His suffering, says Hebrews. A person can only learn obedience when tempted to disobey and can only learn courage when tempted to flee. Jesus mission was to become one of us, to live and die as one of us. That was the only way God could work within the rules He set up at Creation. God.... passionate, in His love for people and on the other hand an urge to destroy the Evil that enslaved them. That matter was resolved on the cross as His Son absorbed the destructive force and transformed it into love.

The only way to conquer evil is to let it be smothered within a willing, living human being. When it is absorbed there, like blood in a sponge or a spear thrown into one's heart, it loses its power and goes no further. Gake D. Webbe

THE POSTPONED MIRACLE - Chapter 16

God the Father, who could have helped in Gethsemane, did not lift a finger on behalf of His condemned Son? To really consider our disappointment with God we must consider Gethsemane, the place of Jesus arrest, Pilate's palace, the place of Jesus trial and Calvary, the place of Jesus execution.

GETHSEMANE - Jesus is praying in a quiet, cool grove of olive trees. Everything in the garden seemed peaceful but outside Satan was on the prowl. One disciple turned traitor, and a large mob with swords and clubs was heading for Gethsemane. Jesus describes what is taking place when He says, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death." Jesus resolved Himself to come to live in the world of skin and blood and tissue and He would also die by its rules. Was it easy? You fall face down in prayer on the ground and sweat drops of blood. Yet God stayed silent.

PILATE"S PALACE - "Prophesy!" some cried, taunting Him with a challenge toward performing a miracle. The Son of God did not resist as fists fell on His blindfolded face and their spit ran down His beard. In the most literal way, God - in Jesus - had His hands tied.

CALVARY - We've seen it over and over at almost every church on every Easter. Yet do we really get the picture? Think for a moment about a time when you staked everything on what you thought was within God's power. Recovery from cancer. The birth of a healthy baby. A marriage restored. But... everything went wrong. The person did not recover but died from the cancer. The baby was not born healthy but with brain damage or was not born at all. The divorce papers were delivered instead of restoration.

Everyone wants a miracle. Pilate, Herod, the woman who followed Jesus all the way to Galilee, the disciples, a dying thief, the crowd gathered at the cross, Richard, and Ed. But there was no rescue, no miracle and thus is the case today for many. Jesus cried, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?" This seems to be the ultimate cry of disappointment. God seemed to let all that was wrong triumph over all that was right.

BUT THEN - The Resurrection! An opportunity missed? You would have thought that God would be vindicated and the problem of disappointment would be put to rest for eternity. If Jesus would have appeared to Pilate, that would have proven to them who Jesus was and that God was real. But instead, we see that of the dozen or so appearances after the Resurrection all were to people who already believed. Not one single unbeliever saw Jesus after His death.

The cross is the most public event of Jesus life. Large crowds watched every detail, history recorded it through all four men who wrote the Gospels. The scene at the cross reveals the difference between a God who proves Himself through power and One who proves Himself through love. Seem like a contradiction? Roman gods enforced worship. Jews were slaughtered for not bowing down to Caesar, Jesus never forced anyone to believe Him. Jesus preffered to act by appeal, drawing people out of themselves and toward Him.

Paul said, "If God be for us, then who can be against us?" I don't think we come close to understanding the love of a God who did not spare His own Sons life. As a father or mother we would have done something... wouldn't we? Love today is just a weak, lack luster word to be used and abused by a people who would not lay down or give up much of anything when it really comes down to it. Perhaps this is the root of the problem in being disappointed with God. Love in this world apparently looks a whole lot different than love in His kingdom. I would not lay down my life for a stranger who lives on the streets. And the sad part is that I almost feel like that's ok because who else would? My perceptions of love have been shapped by my life history. I have an issue with people who tell me they love me and yet they don't call or visit me other than when a church meeting brings us together. The words "I love you" are reserved for special people in my life? And when I speak them out I accept responsibility for actions that coincide with them. Yet... Jesus poured out His love on all mankind. Reserved..... poured out? Reserved.... poured ot?

Jesus says, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." Jesus was referring to us, as His friends. What appears to be God's unwillingness to move on His Sons behalf was in fact moving in the most dramatic way on our behalf. Sacrifice! Sacrifice...... SELAH (pause and think on that)

DIVINE SHYNESS - Chapter 15

If there ever was a time when the question of God's existence could have been settled it was when Jesus walked the earth. And right now we are dealing with the real question as to whether we really, truely believe God exists or not. Richard traced his disappointment with God back to that very question, so we to must consider it. Philip's friend Richard could have walked right up to Jesus and said, "You say you're the Son of God? Okay, show me!" Ohhhh, that happened all the time. And we all know how well that worked for them. Jesus called them a, "wicked and adulterous generation."

Jesus began His ministry here on earth in the wilderness, fasting and then being challenged by Satan with the same type of challenging requests that we so often pose to Him. Jesus refused the shortcut to achieve His messianic goals then and still does to this day. In Ivan Karamazov's words, "Jesus would not enslave man by a miracle."

Question? Is there a difference between Jesus in the wilderness and what Satan asked of Him and Richard's request? Richard pleaded for a supernatural display, a light, a voice, something that would demonstrate God's power beyond dispute. With that question asked I must make it more personal and ask, is there a difference between Jesus in the wilderness and the times I have begged, almost demanded, that God would step in and save me from the situation I was in? Now in Richard's defense, he was sincere and in my defense I was in need. At the time I don't recall feeling like I was demanding or taunting God? In fact like Richard I think we were just looking for a little help. All that said, I can not get the similarity between Satan's "throw yourself down!" and my pleas for God to "show Himself" out of my mind.

Jesus strategy seemed be, "To love righteousness is to make it grow not to avenge it...

We have already talked about the lack of lasting effect that miracles had in Mose's day. And in Elijah's day they attracted crowds but rarely had any effect on long term faithfulness. And just like today miracles are often explained away. Even when faced with a blind man's personal report saying, "One thing I do know, I was blind but now I see" they insulted him and threw him out of the court room. Peter, James and John all saw astonishing proof at the mount of Transfiguration. Jesus shines like the sun and His clothes become dazzling, whiter than anyone in the world could ever bleach them. Moses and Elijah appear in a cloud with them. God spoke audibly. It was so astonishing that the disciples fell down. Yet a few weeks later when Jesus needed them the most, they all forsook Him.

When I am the person disappointed with God I have no interest in the miracles that He performed in the past. At that time I am only interested in the ones He did not perform.

Miracles do one of two things. To those who chose to believe Him, they give even more reason to believe. For those that chose not to believe Him, they make little difference.

Philip ends this chapter with these words. Some things just have to be believed to be seen. So is he really telling me that my/our disappointment with God is because I/we don't believe?

GREAT EXPECTATIONS - Chapter 14

Four hundred years of silence and then the promised Messiah comes. That single act would surly dispel any feelings of disappointment with God..........Right?......... So what went wrong? Two thousand years later and disappointment has not vanished yet.

Instead of what went wrong Philip decides to ask the question another way. What did Jesus life contribute to the three questions?

Is God silent? "Follow Me!" "This, then is how you should pray." "We are going up to Jerusalem." God's will made clearer than ever before. Anyone could walk up to the Son of God and ask any question and even disagree with Him. Four hundred years of silence and now Jesus, God's Son, the Word was made flesh.

Is God hidden? With Jesus, God became absolutely real. He now had a name, a face, and address. Jesus said, "Anyone who has seen Me has seen the Father." Yet in the midst of being able to hear, see and smell this man named Jesus there was still nagging questions. Where was the smoke, the fire, the burst of light? Jesus did not match what the people thought or imagined that God should look like. Born in Nazareth, the son of Mary and Joseph a common carpenter. The Messiah, playing in the streets with other children? Jesus, ordinary yet wondrous.

Is God unfair? For the Jews, Jesus was to set all the wrongs of the world right. The prophets spoke that the Lord would swallow up death forever and wipe tears from all faces. While Jesus healed some many more went unhealed. He raised Lazarus from the dead but many more died during His time on earth. He did not wipe away all the tears from all faces. If Jesus had the power, why didn't He use it for all mankind?

This question is by far the most troubling for most. I mean just read the new testament and you'll see the reason for this question. One story illustrates dozens more. The disabled of Jerusalem, the blind, the lame, the paralyzed used to come to a certain pool of water. They waited for the water in the pool to ripple and then they would run, limp, crawl just to enter the water while it was stirring. They had a hope of being healed by the water during these times. Jesus starts a conversation with one of the crippled men who had laid there for 38 years. Thirty eight years and this man never made it to the water as others would push ahead of him. Jesus then fairly or unfairly tells the man to get up and walk. And just that quick the man was healed as he picked up his mat and walked. No disappointment from this man.

But the story goes on and says, Jesus slipped away, into the crowd. WAIT! What about all the rest of the disabled people. One was healed and all the rest were not? One word and they could have all been healed, but not to be on that day. WHY? Explain please! Disappointment with God was more prevalent than not on that day. Even John the Baptist had doubts and what appears to me to be disappointment with Jesus. John serves God faithfully, only to end up in Herod's prison. While there, he sends a message to Jesus, "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?"

So..., more hope, yet more uncertainty is what Jesus brought to the three questions.

For the people of Jesus day His use of the word kingdom caused some confusion. The people thought of kingdom in terms of gold, silver, ivory, grandeur. The people wanted a visible kingdom of power and glory not just a sprinkling of miracles here and there. Jesus on the other hand talked of the "kingdom of heaven." An invisible kingdom. While Jesus expended some energy to solve a few problems of this world he spent most of His energy in the battle against unseen forces. Faith, the forgiveness of sins, the power of the Evil One, these were the concerns that drove Jesus to His Father in prayer each day. The crowds were confused as poverty, illness, oppression, remained in the fore front of the world they lived in. In the end Jesus failed to measure up to the expectations. Has anything changed?

Philip says that in 1988 he knew of many ministries that directed their focus to physical healing and prosperity but few that focused on persistent human problems such as pride, hypocrisy and legalism, the problems that so troubled Jesus. Has anything changed?

Jesus was arrested and put on trial. "My kingdom is not of this world." he declares. A purple robe, covered in blood from the beatings and a crown of thorns on His head overwhelmed the loyalty of the disciples and they ran away in fear of their own danger. If Jesus would not protect Himself, why should He protect them?

THE DESCENT - CHAPTER 13

I must admit that doing this today is not on the top of my list. There is a bit of frustration as I don't feel like I'm getting any answers from Philip or his book. It's strange that I feel that way because when I started I wasn't necessarily looking for answers. Somewhere along the way I got some sort of expectation or should I say hope that maybe I had missed something in my understanding of God and that I would perhaps become enlightened along the way by reading this book. So far, no such revelation and I'm wondering why I'm even continuing? Don't get me wrong the book has been fine, but I think I've lost some of that unsolicited hope? Chapter 13 and I'm ready to throw in the towel? No... I'd have to deal with feeling like a quitter so I'll work through whatever this is that's got me distraught.

Chapter 13 tells the story of a king who was very powerful and he had fallen in love with a humble maiden. How could he declare his love for her? His kingliness tied his hands. If he brought her to the palace and crowned her head with jewels and clothed her body with royal robes, she would surely not resist-no one would dare resist him. But would she love him? She would say she loved him, of course, but would she truly? Or would she live with him in fear, nursing a private grief for the life she had left behind. Would she be happy at his side? How could he know?

The king wanted a lover, an equal. "For it is only in love that the unequal can be made equal," concluded the king. So the king convinced that he could not elevate the maiden without crushing her freedom, resolved to descend. He clothed himself as a beggar and approached her cottage. This was no disguise as he took on this new identity and renounced his throne to win her hand.

Paul describes this same story as he in his words about Jesus Christ.

Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on a cross.

In Gods dealings with man He has often humbled Himself. All through the Old Testament God came down to where man was. But after 400 years of silence He descended in the most unimaginable way. He took on a new form... He became a man. Now God could approach man in a way that would not scare them or as the king said, "crush their freedom."

Imagine for a moment what it must have felt like for the Son of God to become man. One moment the Son of God ruling and reigning in heaven and then becoming a helpless, dependent newborn. Think about becoming a newborn baby again. You would have to give up language and muscle coordination. You would not be able to eat solid food nor control you bladder. Humiliation , yet a kind of freedom as well. God could now act on a human scale. He could talk to anyone... a prostitute, a blind man, a widow, a leper and He could do so without first saying "fear not.

" John Donne said, "Twas much, that man was made like God before, But that God should be made like man, much more."

Too Good To Be True - Chapter 12

Do any human emotions run as deep as hope?

I don't know anyone who doesn't wait with baited breath for a happy ending. The wicked witch will die in the end. The captured will find a way of escape. The broken hearted will be restored. A mother caught in a war zone holding her infant son tight against her breast, pats his head and whispers, "It'll be alright." Where does that kind of hope come from? For 9 months now I tell Ann Marie it will all work out. We have had no steady income now for 9 months. Everyhting we have is for sale, that is if it hasn't already been sold. We have been utterly dependent on God and yet with a smile on my face, I tell her it will all work out. I am hoping for a happy ending, but why? What gives me that hope?

Am I trying to live a fairy tale life? Tolken said; Fairy Tale does not deny the existence of... sorrow and failure: the possibility of these is necessary to the joy of the deliverance; it denies in the face of much evidence, if you will universal final defeat ... giving a fleeting glimpse of Joy, Joy beyond the walls of the world, poignant as grief.

Every prophet spoke of hope in the midst of droughts, plagues, and sieges. Isaiah promises that the wounded lover will recover from His pain. "For a brief moment I abandon you, but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

But what are we to do in the meantime? Must we wait past death to get the answers we seek? The Jewish people began to ask the same questions again after the prophets had died and there was a long period of silence. "We are given no miraculous signs; no prophets are left, and none of us knows how long this will be. How long will the enemy mock you, O God?"

The bottom of page 99 says, some people find no comfort in the prophets vision of future world. "Mere pie in the sky", they say. "the church has used that line for centuries to justify slavery, oppression, and all manner of unjustice. They force feed the hope of heaven to the poor in order to keep them from demanding too much on earth." The criticism sticks because the church has abused the prophets vision. But you will never find that "pie in the sky" rationale in the prophets themselves. Amos, Hosea, Isaiah and Jeremiah have scathing words about the need to care for the widows and orphans and aliens, and to clean up courts and religious systems. The people of God are not merely to mark time, waiting for God to step in and set right all that is wrong. Rather, they are to model the new heaven and new earth, and by so doing awaken longings for what God will someday bring to pass.

Thus far the book has shown us that today we can find some comfort from the lessons of the past. We also see that we may find some comfort in looking ahead. But like the Jews we still feel God's hiddenness as a disappointment, an aching in the heart, a doubt never fully set to rest. Still in spite of everything, through four centuries of silence, the Jews waited for a Messiah - WHY? They had no other hope.

God had asked, "What else could I do?" He then showed us that there was something else He could do. What could not be won through power, was to be won through suffering.

So I go on telling Ann Marie everyday that it's going to be alright, that it will all work out, that it will be ok, all with hope in God. WHY? Because there is no other hope. I have considered putting my hope in other things and I have not found any security that would guarantee any better life or any less warring in my mind. No, having done all I know to do, I must stand and live hope in Him my whole life long. I must contemplate His beauty and I must study at His feet. It is my only hope and in that hope lies our (Ann Marie and I) only hope. I must say that I would not want to be in this position in life with anyone else but Ann Marie. She has been faithful to the hope for 35 years as we just celebrated our anniversary. We often joke and say that she is the hope and I am the faith. Then in other situations we switch roles. I thank God for the gift of a wife that I can switch roles with.

WOUNDED LOVER - Chapter 11 Part 2

The story of Hosea's up and down marriage to Gomer is not unlike many today. A wife finds out that her husband has been unfaithful and she is ready to kill him. After a few months she invites him back. A few months later she files for divorce. Months later she stops the proceedings and the husband returns again. Then one or two years down the road it's over. Why? Nothing had changed about the husband except that he had been caught. For the wife, everything had changed as she would feel the rejection of her love forever. She had become a jilted lover.

God at one moment is ready to obliterate Israel, but wait, now He is weeping, holding out open arms, no, He is sternly pronouncing judgement again. God seems hopelessly irrational... except to anyone who has been jilted by a lover.

God at one moment is ready to obliterate Ed, but wait, now He is weeping, holding out open arms, no, He sternly pronouncing judgement again. God is hopelessly irrational in His love for Ed.

"What else can I do?" God asked Jeremiah. The stork in the sky knows her season, the ocean tide rolls in on schedule, snow always covers the high mountains, but human beings (Ed) is like nothing else in nature. God made room for choice in me. God will not take control of me. And likewise God will not simply throw me aside. He cannot get humanity (Ed) out of His mind.

WOUNDED LOVER - Chapter 11

God did talk back and defended the way that He was running the world. He said, "I am not silent; I have been speaking through my prophets. Well that could be a problem in today's world right there. Prophets??? Today the reviews on Prophets are mixed at best and if you accept that there are still prophets and that they are active today the results that I've experienced are 50/50 and that can then be taken as luck or hit and miss etc. Of course in the old testament days if a prophet was incorrect he was put to death. That certainly put some accountability on calling yourself a prophet and speaking as one.

Outside that doubts or questions regarding God using prophets today we as a people would be far more satisfied with something a little more dramatic than a man speaking to us. Things like a spectacular personal appearance or supernatural miracles. The fireball on Mount Carmel or Jeremiah's sermon? But God did not and does not consider "mere words" as inferior to signs and wonders. Miracles never made a lasting impact on the Israelites faith; but the prophets inscribed a permanent record to be passed down for generations.

With the Israelites God determined that they did not want a word from the Lord and they proved Him right when they said, "Tell us pleasant things, prophesy illusions... and stop confronting us with the Holy One of Israel." So God did say to them and the prophets when they complained about Him being silent and hidden " I have indeed withdrawn My presence."

To Jeremiah he expressed disgust with with what He saw: dishonest gain, shedding of innocent blood, oppression, extortion. God even refused to see hands spread out in a posture of prayer, for the hands were covered with blood.

To Ezekiel God said that after a certain point He "gave them over" to their sins and to Zechariah he said, " When I called, they did not listen; so when they called, I would not listen."

The following words of the Lord are a SELAH (pause and think on that) moment. My slowness to act is a sign of mercy, not of weakness. Israel and I think for many today we sometimes presume that God had or has lost His power. "He will do nothing! No harm will come to us; we will never see sword or famine." They were wrong and reluctantly, like a parent out of options, God resorted to punishment. Israel's punishment was invasions by foreign people.

Though My judgements appear stern, I am suffering with you. And to Moab He says, "I wail over Moab, for all Moab I cry out... My heart laments for Moab like a flute. The Israelites may have watched in horror as babylonian axmen hacked apart the temple but it was God's own house. As the jews were led captive, He was led captive and when the conquerors divided the spoils, they joked not about the Israelites but about their weakling God. And yet God says, "despite everything, I am ready to forgive at any moment."

There is a place where God's perspective moves from that of a parent to that of a lover, a wounded lover. "What have I done wrong? he demands in a tone of sadness, horror and rage. "I supplied all their needs, yet they commit adultry and thronged to the houses of prostitutes. They are well fed, lusty stallions, each neighing for another man's wife. Should I NOT PUNISH THEM FOR THIS?

We sing a song here at the center about being God's favorite one. We sing the words "what are you thinking, what are you feeling, I have to know. Do we really want to know or are we to wrapped up in our own feelings? I have envisioned God as feeling like a rejected parent. He finds a baby girl lying in a ditch, near death. He takes her home nad makes her His daughter. He cleans her up, pays for her schooling, feeds her, clothes her, gives her gifts and loves her. Then one day she runs away. He hears reports of her unclean life and when His name comes up, she curses His very name.

I have also imagined God as feeling like a jilted lover. He finds His lover thin and wasted, abused, but He brings her home and makes he beauty shine. She is His precious one, the most beautiful woman in the world to Him and he lavishes her with gifts and love. And yet she forakes Him. She goes after His best friends, His enemies, anyone. She stands by the highway and under every spreading tree and worse than a prostitute, she pays people to have sex with her. He feels betrayed, abandoned. God asked Hosea to convey His passion in a living parable. Hosea on God's orders married Gomer and time after time Gomer wandered off only to have Hosea each time welcome her back with forgiveness.

Robert Frost talked of the story of Jonah and summed it up this way, "After Jonah, you could never trust God not to be merciful again." One line of prophecy where God says, "Forty more days and Nineveh will be overturned." But to Jonah's disgust that simple announcement sparked revival and God's plans changed. Jonah says, "I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity." Jonah is upset because God was merciful to Nineveh. Disappointment with God was Jonah's inability to accept God's mercy in place of punishment. I think my disappointment often comes from what I think is God's punishment in place of God's mercy. Of course Jonah and I are both mistaken in our thoughts.

MY SLOWNESS TO ACT IS A SIGN OF MERCY, NOT OF WEAKNESS!

THOUGH MY JUDGEMENTS APPEAR STERN, I AM SUFFERING WITH YOU!

Fire and the Word - Chapter 10

I was told that I had to title these things so that it would be easier to follow along.

This chapter does not do much for answering any questions. In fact it is all about the prophets of old and how they basically asked the very same questions that we ask today. So am I to believe that, that's the way it has always been and that's the way it will always be?

Isaiah says, "Truly you are a God who hides himself" "Oh that you would rend the heavens and come down, that the mountains would tremble before you!"

Jeremiah compares God to a weakling, "a man taken by surprise... a warrior powerless to save."

Habakkuk challenges God to explain why, as he put it, "justice never prevails." How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong?

The Israelites and today us all live on the victory stories of the Word. Freed from slavery, promised lands, slaying the giant, blind men seeing, etc., etc.

Being a man of God does not make it easier as the prophets dealt with disappointment with God right along side everyday people. Jeremiah says, Since my people are crushed, I am crushed; I mourn, and horror grips me... Oh that my head were a spring of water and my eyes a fountain of tears! I would weep day and night for the slain of my people.... My heart is broken within me; all my bones tremble. I am like a drunken man, like man overcome by wine.

So... that's the way it's always been and maybe will always be. I am not satisfied with that strategy or philosophy. I am drawn to another thought. Where are the men of God who would weep day and night for the people? Where are the men of God who are crushed because their people are crushed? Where are the men of God who's hearts are broken, who's bones tremble for the people?

While we have started a Prayer Center and we pray a lot for the people I can not say that I weep day and night, that I am crushed, or that my heart is broken. I am still pretty comfortable in the western culture and in the way that I spend time with God for the people. Sure there are moments of tears but not like fountains as Jeremiah describes. Ezekiel watched the Glory of God rise, hover above the temple for a moment and then vanish. As I read that, I'm all over it, wondering how he got to that place and what I need to do to see God's glory hover if only for a moment over the Prayer Center. Yes the victory stories are much more palatable than that of Jeremiah's broken heart and trembling bones that he felt for his people.

Yet To Be Titled

The idea of me getting everything I want or having more than I could every imagine or expect in the past led me to believe that I'd be more for God. I mean I could certainly do more for Him if I had more? Right? I know at age 55 that, that is not true. There have been times in my life when I had more than I had expected and yes we did more but we also got distracted in other things.

In chapter nine - ONE SHINNING MOMENT we only need to look at Solomon to see that as well. At age 18 he became the richest person in his time. He wrote 1005 songs and 3000 proverbs.Queen Sheba said it this way, " The report I heard in my own country about your achievements and you wisdom is true. But I did not believe these things until I came and saw with my own eyes. Indeed not even half was told to me; in wisdom and wealth you have exceeded the report I heard. She was so impressed that when she left she gave Solomon four and a half tons of pure gold.

Solomon went out of his way to make God feel loved. He built a lavish temple and when the Glory of God came down to fill the temple, the priest were driven back by the blast. Solomon's temple was the center of God's activity on earth. God then says, "I have heard the prayer and plea you have made before me; I have consecrated this temple... My eyes and heart will always be there." And thus God had done all that He had promised to Abraham and Moses. The Israelites had land, a nation, and secure boundaries AND A GLEAMING SYMBOL OF GOD'S PRESENCE AMONG THEM.

Solomon with everything imaginable should have no problem following God, right? WRONG! By the end of Solomon's reign Solomon had squandered away almost every advantage. The man who wrote romantic songs of love had set all records for promiscuity. Seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines and to please the foreign wives he introduced idol worship into God's holy city.

In a single generation Solomon took Israel from a desperate kingdom to a self sufficient political power. But along the way he lost sight to that which God had called him. By the time Solomon died Israel was more like the Egypt they had escaped from. After Solomon died Israel spilt into two and proceeded to decay into ruin.

Oscar Wilde said this. "In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. Power, status and getting whatever Solomon wanted gradually made him less dependent on God and more on the things around him. Success eliminated disappointment with God but it also seemed to eliminate the very desire for God at all. From this time forward God turns away from Kings and focuses on His prophets.

At some point I will share about this past week from personal experience but I don't want to get ahead of the book at this time. I think to summarize what I've gotten from the book so far is to say I'm experiencing it as I read it. Disappointment, wilderness, provision, faith, questions and through it all I come out today feeling stronger in the Lord that two weeks ago. Perhaps it's maturity even as slow as it seems to be coming that I'm experiencing. I have a renewed sense of confidence. Maybe God's words to me of, "Be still and know" are sinking in.