I know that none of you have or would ever fit the title "Troubled believer" but for sure there are days when I am the epitome of those words. Some might ask is that possible? Can you use the word believer and troubled in the same sentence? Ed didn't you become a believer to eliminate trouble from your life? No, becoming a believer was to eliminate sin from my life. No, I am all to often a troubled believer and that's my opinion not a God revelation. In fact quite the contrary.
It has been said that I don't live in the real world or that my life is not reality. They think that because I don't express or share let's call it the stuff in the same manner as is common, that I don't have any stuff. That is just wrong in and of itself because I did PTP and Reality daily emails for 4 years where I exposed my stuff daily. I politely assure them that I have my days just like anyone else but based on their responses I know that they will go one believing what they want about me. This past week I was drawn to Psalm 77 which I had looked at in the past but never in any depth. Well here's an in depth look at Psalm 77 and once again an attempt to let the skeptics know that I do live in the real world and I do recognize reality and in fact deal with it every day. But I admit that I do not deal with it in a manner which is common to man. This Psalmist has penned my thoughts, words and actions to paper.
Psalm 77:1 I cried out to God with my voice- To God with my voice; And HE GAVE ear TO ME.
I can spend much time right here. Let me personalize this verse and see if anything resonates. Ed cries out to God with his voice - To God with Ed's voice; And He, Ed's God gives ear to him.
The message makes it clearer. I, Ed, yell out to my God, I Ed, yell with all my might, I, Ed, yell at the top of my lungs. And He, Ed's God, listens.
The psalmist is a believer. He's crying out to the one in whom he believes. And he's not whispering or whining, He's yelling at the top of his lungs. He wants to be heard! I want to be heard. I want someone to listen? But who? Whom do I want to be heard by? Who do I want to listen to me? I personally have found that if I'm going to pour out my heart I don't want just anyone to listen, I want that someone to have the ability to make whatever better. Thus if the word is true and all thing come from God and all things go through God and all things end in God then shouldn't I go to God?
What 's verse one all about? ............... Who's the psalmist crying out to? His neighbor? His friends? His spouse? To anyone who will listen? No, it's to God. And He repeats it twice. If I am utterly dependent upon God for everything in my life then who else would or should I cry out to when the life I'm living isn't the one I thought I signed up for? I guess the first issue to look at though is, how dependent am I on God? Are the words utterly dependent on Him for everything some nice sounding theology or philosophical mumbo jumbo? When it really comes down to it do I make my own way with the cards that are dealt to me or am I utterly dependent upon Him? That's a side bar study in itself. What does being utterly dependent on Him look like in everyday life? Maybe by the end of this Psalm we'll have a glimpse at that as well as what to do when we become troubled believers.
For years I spent countless hours reading books researching and hoping for the day when I wouldn't have any days that cause me to need to cry out. Hundreds of books are out there and thousands of well meaning people offering advice, opinion, experience, 1,2,3 steps etc. as to how to handle the things of life that overwhelm me. But none have provide me with the life of bliss that I so desperately have wanted. Psalm 77 and many others are the best answer I have found. The truth of this psalm is better than any advice that I have received, whether free or paid for. Am I willing to leave my life stuff to someone else's opinion or their experience?
The reason people think the way they do about me is because I from a very early age had to take my life to God. I had no alternative. I grew up in an alcoholic home. As a child there was no fancy title for what our home was like but today it would be the ultimate example of dysfunctional. I couldn't go to either of my parents as they obviously had their own issues. As a child I couldn't go to other adults. I remember the one time I did speak to an adult in the church I attended and their response was, " well you have a roof over your head, food in your stomach and clothes on your back so how bad can it really be. At an early age I figured out that God was the only option and if God didn't care... well then I would just have to move on and make the best of it. I'd have to adjust my attitude and accept it as God's will. After some 40 years of turning to God first and then possibly to men I it has become a way of life, a lifestyle. I am not suggesting that all of that was right but I am making the point that according to the entire word of God WE MUST GO TO GOD! His advice is a more sure word than any mans. His opinion counts far more than any persons. And His instructions are more than 3 or 7 steps to a better life. God's word is life!
My answer to all those that think I have found some way of escape from reality and/or the stuff that everyone but me has to deal with is this. I cry out to God with my voice- and the psalmist repeats it just in case we didn't get it the first time, TO GOD WITH MY VOICE! And HE GIVES ear TO ME.
As I am not promised tomorrow I will not promise more tomorrow. Utterly dependent upon Him for everything?
No comments:
Post a Comment